Over the last several days I’ve needed to look through my portfolio of work in order to come up with a few select images required for a presentation. The chosen photographs needed to be perfect, and so a critical eye was required to ascertain which would make the cut. What a horrible experience this was! I found some sort of flaw in every single photo I imagined would be a favored shot, and this really left me questioning my abilities as a photographer.

All of this reminded me of a lifelong aversion I’ve had to anything that remotely feels like competition. While logically I’m able to see that healthy competition can foster growth and greater excellence, there is this part of me that vehemently resists that which magnifies comparisons with others, and judgments of “better” or “worse”. I used to believe this the be the result of having a father who has got to be about the most competitive person on the planet, but as I’ve gotten older I’m not so sure that’s completely accurate or even fair.

What I do know, is that I operate best, and feel happiest, when I let go of any notions of needing approval from others to be worthy. To be a portrait photographer means to look for and accentuate the beauty and perfection that is inherent in all beings. This is first and foremost in my mind when making the portraits, and perhaps explains why an extraneous detail may be overlooked or regarded as unimportant in that moment.

Now there’s a noble sounding excuse for justifying my shortcomings!



~Cynthia