just a mess

 
A coincidence that this jumbled nonsensical cousin grouping would be just the sort of image I might attract into my experience? Perhaps not, given my state of mind much of the time. Conflicting thoughts dart around haphazardly while highly charged and rapidly changing emotions stream in and out of consciousness, all seeking unity and harmony, though sometimes finding disconnection, even isolation instead. Uncertainty is disconcerting and generally not so pretty to look at.

The common solution to a messy dilemma is simply to tidy up the outer presentation in an attempt to create some semblance of order out of the chaos. But I wonder if “fixing” messy situations and people isn’t really what we‘re here for. Maybe nothing is actually broken. Maybe a mess is the crack in the surface that allows the unnecessary to exit freely and naturally, while at the same time inviting the unimaginable in.

When confronted with what I may at first perceive as “just a mess”, I’m now trying to simply stand back and observe rather than jumping in to offer my superb straightening skills. In so doing I’m discovering little nuggets of grace and truth wedged deep in the stony soil of confusion. It’s a trustable beauty that I’m finding myself attracted to more and more. The immaculate holds little mystery nor magic and certainly hasn‘t the stories–born from the messiness of life, to tell.

 
~Cynthia