self-relfection

 

Even though I show mostly client images on this photo journal, I don’t regard it as a “studio blog”. I initially set it up as one, which lasted about a day and a half before I realized that wasn’t at all what I wanted and promptly pulled the link from my work website. I wanted this to be personal, and not something I do based on obligation, for marketing purposes, or trying to impress either clients or fellow photographers. So
it has remained deeply flawed and very personal, and because of that I love it like a child. It’s an ever-expanding extension of me.

Since it’s not an anonymous photoblog, clients and friends periodically stumble upon it, which always make me sorta cringe, as if they’ve peaked into my underwear drawer and rifled through to discover my innermost secrets. But I’m learning to get over the embarrassment, and obviously it hasn’t bothered me so greatly to eliminate the journal altogether, although in recent weeks I’ve seriously considered this.

The problem with me is that I consider the work I do as personal. I can’t seem to treat it like a business even when it’s imperative I do so, and as a result I’ve suffered the consequences. I know I need to do things very differently, and soon, but I’m slow in taking the necessary steps, and somewhat skeptical about where they will lead me.

No real purpose in this entry today……just thinking out loud and self-reflecting a bit too much.

~Cynthia